Removing Karma leaves me permanently crippled

19 Nov

I’m Miao Xiangtu, 46 years old, living in Zhangcun Town, Jiangshan City of Zhejiang Province. My dad is a retired teacher and mom a peasant. Though not rich, we lived a peaceful and comfortable life. At the age of 28, I suffered from ankylosing spondylitis. Thanks to prompt and appropriate treatment, the disease was brought under control and I was able to live a normal life by and large.
I had had a dream of living my life to the full. I had dreamt of making a fortune by growing and selling local specialties in my hometown, then marrying a nice woman and living a happy life with her. But all my hope was dashed by the sudden interruption of Falun Gong.
One day in July 2000, Ms. Liao, my dad’s former colleague came to visit him who happened to be out on business. Since I was the only one staying at home, we had a chat that day, and she mentioned Falun Gong to me. She said that Falun Gong was a cure-all free of charge that could cure all illnesses in the world, and suggested I have a try. She even brought me books like Explaining the Content of Falun Dafa, Zhuan Falun, and some CDs about it. “A cure-all?” It sounded ridiculous to any sane man! I turned her down with a smile.
However, she since came to visit me frequently and talked to me every time about the “miraculous functions” of practicing Falun Gong like curing all diseases, and the ideas of practicing it to reduce karma and become a God in the future. Maybe I was desperate to cure my disease that I started wavering under her persistent preaching, and her words seemed to make some sense to me. She had been my dad’s colleague for years, I told myself, there was no reason she could have tried to cheat me. Plus, trying to do me harm would do her no good. So why not just have a try since it’s helpful to my condition? With that in mind I started practicing with her by sitting in meditation.
Two weeks later, because of regular activities every day, I felt my waist and leg pains easing, and I seemed to be more energetic. And I also “discovered” the reason for my change in the books she brought me: The Master says that when you are in trial and tribulation, Compassion will help you pass through them; and my Law Bodies will guard and protect you, but you must go through the test. I was naive to think that fortune was so kind to let me find the secret remedy for my disease and pains, which made me more determined on doing cultivation.
To become a real Dafa disciple as soon as possible through intensive cultivation to reduce karma, every day I kept on learning Dafa from the books and practicing it by sitting in meditation to cultivate my spirit and body at the same time, as required by Li Hongzhi. I spent four hours in the day sitting in meditation and kept reading Dafa and reciting the scriptures all night long. Thus I stopped bothering about any family responsibilities.
At that time I was often tormented by severe pains from my illness. Every time the pangs became unbearable I encouraged myself with what Master said, “As you are a practitioner, you should be clear as to why this kind of incident takes place: It’s because that “thing” came, and it was asking you to pay for your karma. To resolve these sorts of incidents, you have to keep yourself under control during those moments and watch your xinxing. Be appreciative and thankful that your spouse has helped you pay for your karma.” So I was stupid enough to think that Master had eliminated the cause of all diseases and pains, and that I was sure to reach Consummation if steadfast in cultivating.
So by and by I fell into the abyss…To cure my disease as soon as possible, I followed the requirements for removing karma to the letter, no medicines, no doctors. I was filled with thoughts of removing karma to “”be elevated” and reach “Consummation”. So I stopped taking medicine and had been sitting in meditation for many hours to practice every day, which aggravated my condition. I became dull and emaciated from repeated tearing pains. But I persisted in the cultivation despite all the suffering, clinging to what Master said as my belief. He said that suffering came naturally from removing karma in the process of cultivation, that no one could “accumulate Gong Powers” without experiencing the pain, that how could anyone remove his “attachments” in ways other than this?
When my condition started to worsen more quickly since September 2000, all my family members who cared about me and our kind-hearted neighbors tried to persuade me to go to hospital for treatment. But I dismissed their persuasion and replied with full confidence: “What do you know about this? This situation is normal showing that Master is guiding me to purge my body. Should I take medicines, I would press the karma back into my body, which will lead to Heaven’s punishment. You are only doing me harm trying to persuade me. Leave me alone. I won’t go to the hospital even threatened by death!” As I argued with them I recited “when you can stay steadfast we can eliminate karma” again and again, wishing to ease my pain.
And it continued till early October 2000. That day I started sitting in meditation at home as usual. Only a few minutes later, I began to feel dizzy and sick. Things blurred before my eyes. Sweat poured down my pale face. Then I vomited, passed out and fell on the floor. Fortunately dad found what happened and with the help of a neighbor sent me to the county hospital for emergency aid. It was diagnoses as temporary stupor caused by low fever, asthenia, loss of weight and plus anemia induced by ankylosing spondylitis complications. The doctors reproached my parents:“Your son’s disease has been so serious! Why didn’t you make him take medicines?” I came back to life slowly after days of emergency treatment.
As I came around, I uttered the words unknowingly: “Master has summoned me. And he was beckoning me.” All my family sobbed at the scene. Dad touched my forehead, tears running down his weathered face, and said: “Poor son! You had barely escaped death! And you still believe that Master so much? Don’t you know what happened?!”
Taken good care of by my family, I had recovered a little. All my family members insisted that I should go to a bigger hospital to be examined. The doctor also advised me to go to a big hospital in Hangzhou for a thorough check. Finally, after several refusals, I took their advice and had a check in a big hospital. The doctors told me after consultation that I had missed the best opportunity for treatment, and that they regretted to tell me I might remain handicapped for the rest of my life. I burst into tears at the news and lost all hope of life. There were several times I wanted to end my life. It was only because of the caring company of my family that I managed to walk out of the darkest hour slowly.
Slowly I began to look back at what happened: “Didn’t Li Hongzhi say his Law Bodies would protect me? Why didn’t he appear when I was dying? Why had all my devoted cultivation only worsened my condition instead of curing it as my karma was being removed? Was it the cultivation aimed at my early departure from this life?”
Now the dream I had long cherished of going to the big world outside and making a fortune has turned into a luxurious illusion. Now I’m a useless man confined to bed all the time, unable to sit up and finish my meal by myself when the disease strikes. Even when it’s no so severe, the best thing I can do is walking a few steps with the help of crutches. As I grow old even faster, I feel unprecedented helplessness and pain with a lonely and miserable old age in store for me. It was Falung Gong that strangled my hope, and it is Li Hongzhi that wrecked my health and happiness.

Original text from: http://www.facts.org.cn/Data/02/201108/t132133.htm

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